By Audrey Ward April 2023 Those words—Hello and Good-bye—are hard to say with grace and promise. We stumble in learning them well. As a parent I made it a habit to insist that my three offspring always look people in the eye, speak with clarity and be as pleasant as possible. That’s the way European children comported themselves when we lived in France in the 1980’s. Young ones of the most modest circumstances–sod floors in their farmhouse, shared walls with cows, goats, and a donkey– always made sure each child greeted the......
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By Audrey Ward February, 2023 A reception in the home of a local election winner provided a delightful opportunity to review the winner’s parenting habits. You just never know how your capacity to parent will be put on display, but in your own habitat, I promise you there’s no escape. The winner’s three sons between the ages of 14 and 22 snapped easily into action when the first guests appeared through the door. The youngest offered libations and the other two made sure their older guests were settled comfortably and had......
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By Audrey Ward April 2022 Observing the fragility of relating to each other in these heavily freighted times has caused me to ask myself how we teach our children to be a friend. So now I’m asking you as well. Sometimes such basics are assumed to be an automatic response to life as part of a household. And they are. Offspring learn by watching how their parents connect both with each other and to the outside world. But then I have to question whether my protective nature–shaking the bully on the bike......
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By Audrey Ward February 2022 Childhood has lost a true hero and protector. Andrew Vachss’s obituary in the New York Times tells of a fearless legal defender for children who have been trampled and betrayed. When he wasn’t in a court room where children were at risk of losing to those who hurt them, Vachss (pronounced “Vox”) was writing novels—my favorite, Blue Belle–about Burke, an ex-con who was part shady, part righteous (unlicensed) detective. Burke was perpetually on the lookout for how little ones could be hidden from harm’s way. Then he......
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By Audrey Ward February 2021 Why, I wonder, do we try so hard to appear perfect to our children. Comes a time when they know we aren’t. Even so, it seems that there’s often an attempt to erase our mistakes of the past and make sure they—our young—are faultless in our stead. Perhaps this occurs to me because I’ve been keenly aware of my not being at all blameless in my lifetime. When others came to me bearing their concerns and began a shaky confession, often they would look up and see......
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